he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
