we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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