im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
