Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
