i don't like sucking hair
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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