My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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