I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
