It's Friday. Sex?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
