I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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