her vagine was all disorganized.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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