He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it was like having sex with a tree stump
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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