I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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