You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
