I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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