I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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