Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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