hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
