Your mouth is God's brothel.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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