It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
