she woke up with a sticky ear
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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