Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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