K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
bring money and cleavage
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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