i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
