You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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