I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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