The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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