She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
