and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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