i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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