After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
