I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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