Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
