these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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