Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
