how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
