Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
