BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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