Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize