Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
