tell your sister to shave her snatch
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
