In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
