I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I could fuck to npr.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
why does every cop we meet know your name?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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