she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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