im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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