You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
