Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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