I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
