I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
