Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize