then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
