Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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