their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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