Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
