Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
