When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
