the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.