Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me

Fav 20 1972 4916
share tweet
(661): View more from California

fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.

Fav 5 3637 889
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(251): View more from Alabama

He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

Fav 2 1799 1008
share tweet
(316): View more from Kansas

She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.

Fav 2 921 671
share tweet
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.

Fav 2 686 963
share tweet
(563): View more from Iowa

I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast

Fav 2 1104 585
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).

Fav 8 1132 705
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(920): View more from Wisconsin

Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show

Fav 0 658 336
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza

Fav 0 47 15
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT