Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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